Les Mis Never Dies
by JennySl
Summary: The cast of Les Mis performs Love Never Dies. And Fantine starts singing everytime the word Dream is mentioned. Maybe some Eppie/Enjy goodness later
1. Chapter 1

Jen (Authoress): Hello, and Welcome to Les Mis Never Dies! Where I force the cast of Les Mis to perform Love Never Dies!

Cosette: I think I'll be leaving now…

Jen: No one leaves, time for me to start the casting! First Squelch is played by Jean Valjean because they're both freakishly strong.

Jean: Umm, thanks?

Jen: And gangle will be good old Javvie

Jean & Javert: Why?

Jen: To see your reactions! Priceless. And I will be Fleck because no one else is cool enough to play her. Plus, this way I can make sure you two don't kill each other. Fantine is Madame Giry.

Fantine: Ouch.

Jen: Ignoring that Cosette is Meg. Mwahaha!

Cosette: Why me?

Jen: You'll have no problem being nasty to Christine when you find out who's playing her. Gavroche is Gustave.

Gavroche:*Shrugs*

Jen: Grantaire will play Raoul.

Grantaire: Can I keep my wine?

Jen: Sure, Raoul's a drunk.

Grantaire: Yes!

Jen:...Moving on, Christine will be played by…

Cosette: Please don't be-

Jen: Èponine Thernadier!

Cosette: Damnit!

Èponine: So… I'm married to Grantaire… Gavroche is my son… and I still wind up dead by the end of the play?

Jen: Yep! And the Phantom will be…

Èponine: Marius, Marius, Marius!

Cosette: Oh you did not just-

Jen: You two really need to cut this out, or Dear Old Friend will be terrible! Anyway, the Phantom is Enjorlas!

Èponine and Enjorlas: WHAT?

Eponine: Why can't it be Marius?

Enjorlas: Yeah, why not?

Jen: Marius will never be cool enough to play the Phantom. This is why he's not here.

Cosette: Oh, come on!

Jen: You'll thank me when we get to Beneath a Moonless Sky. Now let's get cracking! Fantine, you're up!

**(The sound of seagulls cawing forlornly as the tide rolls relentlessly in. Lights **

**slowly rise to reveal the boardwalk at Coney Island, in winter. **

**Against a dull grey sky, we see the abandoned frames of Coney's famous  
>attractions: A skeletal roller coaster… A frost-covered Ferris Wheel… A<br>decrepit steeplechase track. They rise behind a weathered wooden fence pasted  
>with old and tattered show posters, advertising the now-forgotten performers<br>who once delighted millions.**

**A woman enters, wrapped in a ragged coat. She is not old, but has clearly been **

**ill-used by time. She stops to gaze at the posters.) **

**FANTINE/MADAME GIRY **

"**Phantasma. City of Wonders… Mr. Y. Presents… **Who's Mr.?

Jen: You'll find out. Get on with it.

Random Crowd: GET ON WITH IT!

**Fantine: **Okay…** Marvels, astonishments…  
>Human prodigies. The Ooh La La Girl, <strong>Who?

Jen: Meg./Cosette

Fantine: Oh...

**Five performances daily… Christine  
>Daaé, the soprano of the century" Gone. All gone. <strong>Aww, what happened?

Jen: Stuff. Fleck/me will tell you in a minute.

**(As she trails off, a voice addresses her.) **

**Jen/FLECK **

**Yes…there's nothing left. Nothing but ghosts.**

Marius: Ghosts? No, not again! Hide me!*dives under empty chair at empty table, tee hee!*

Fantine: Speaking of ghosts, shouldn't most of us be dead?

Jen: Must I explain it?

Cast: Yes!

Jen:*facepalm* 2 words. Creative license.

Cast:Ooh!

Marius: Cool! No more ghosts!

Jen: Wait…you aren't supposed to be here!

Marius: I stalked Cosette.

Cosette: Awwwww!

Èponine: *gags*

Jen:…Creepy. I guess I have to do something with you; you can be chorus and the props department.

Marius: Cool! I can stay?

Jen: I guess. *grumbles*Moving right along…

Jen/Fleck:

**But I knew you'd come **

**back… Madame Giry. **

**(As the voice speaks, its source unfolds itself from the seaside debris: Another **

**woman, ageless and odd, with a pale face, sunken eyes, and a bizarre manner.) **

**FANTINE/MADAME GIRY **

**You…still here. **How dumb is she?

Jen: She's in shock, there's a difference.

**JEN/FLECK **

**Of course we're still here.**

Fantine: We?

Jen: Ignoring that…

**The freaks, the monstrous, the bizarre…**

Fantine: You don't look very bizarre. You look normal…sort of.

Jen:*sigh**magically changes into Fleck costume and Fantine into Mme Giry* Better?

Fantine: I'll be quiet now…

Jen/Fleck:

**Where else could we exist but here? **

Fantine: Again with the we!

**Jen:***glares*

**And after the tragedy… After the master  
>disappeared with the child… <strong>

Fantine: The who disappeared with the what?

Jen: Grrr…

**After the fire that consumed everything…**

**MADAME GIRY **

**His dream. Our dream… **I dreamed a dream in time- *duct tape magically appears over Fantine's mouth*

Jen: *grins evilly*

**JEN/FLECK **

**Remember how it was? Remember?**

Fantine:*rips off tape* Ouch! And I don't!

Jen: I know, now please stop talking.

**(Crooning, half-mad) **

_**Coney Isle…  
>Glistening and glimmering!<br>Rising bright,  
>drenched with light…<strong>_

_**(As she sings, ghostly fireworks explode overhead) **_

_**See it smile,**_

Fantine: How can it smile? It's an island!

Jen: It's personification!*sigh*

JEN/FLECK_**  
>beckoning and shimmering!<br>All agleam…**_

_**Like a dream..!**_

Fantine: I dreamed that -

Jen: One more word and you're going back to the dead!

Jean: One word more!

Jen: Eh tu Brute?

Jean and Fantine: *shut up*

_**Both: **__**Every fantasy set free! **_

_**Sodom rising by the sea! **_

Fantine: What's sodom?

Jen: I'm not sure…*shrugs*

**(The dilapidated seaside world begins to transform before our eyes, bursting **

**into light and color.) **

FANTINE/MADAME GIRY

_**Coney Isle!  
>Miracle on miracle!<br>Speed and sound  
>all around.<br>Mile by mile,  
>loud and lewd and lyrical.<br>Thrill on thrill,  
>never still.<br>All America was there.  
>Beggar next to billionaire!<strong>_

_**In they came,  
>chasing sensation and romance…<br>Eyes aflame, **_Eww…_**  
>desperate for pleasures yet unknown.<br>Night and day,  
>pouring in by the hundreds of thousands!<br>Swept away,  
>as their ev'ry desire was made real!<strong>_

(The sound of the sea remains for a few moments, then the Coney Island Waltz

slowly starts up.

A vision of the past manifests itself – Coney Island in its heyday. At the height

of the reverie…)

FLECK

_**That's the**__**place that you ruined, you fool**__! _

FANTINE/MADAME GIRY

Ouch.

(Shocked out of her reverie.) **Wh…what? What do you mean?** Seriously? Even I get it!

Jen: Yeah, Giry's a bit slow on the uptake in her old age.

JEN/FLECK

_**That's the world you destroyed with your greed! **_

FANTINE/MADAME GIRY

Hey! I'm not greedy! I gave everything I earned to the Thernadiers!

**It wasn't my fault! I couldn't have known..! **

JEN/FLECK

_**Don't you remember what happened back then?**_

Fantine: You know, I really don't.

Jen: I know, bear with me.

_**When we… Even we!... Dared to walk among men **_

Fantine: Why the we?

Jen: *ignores Fantine*

(Whispered, softly, gently)

_**When even a Phantom could dream his dark dreams once again… **_

Fantine: I dreamed a dream in time gone-

Jen: Can it!*rubs temples* Next chapter will be Heaven by the Sea, through Giry Confronts the Phantom. *walks offstage muttering about duct tape*

**Sigh… I can't seem to control my cast. Reviews please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I LIIIIIIIVVVEEEE!**** I come to beg forgiveness and offer this rather long chapter. First things first**

**Wickedchick500: Aw! Thanks, but admittedly only I and Fantine have had lines that are actually in the script…by the way in this chapter I will introduce my assistant director and little sister.**

**Elfigreen14: I can't see Grantaire as abusive either, he's a drunk but he's a funny sarcastic drunk, unlike Raoul who is an angry drunk. **

**Acebea: It's my favorite pairing too! And I have updated late but…**

**Caelia di Mekio: Thanks! Crack fics are fun to write!**

**FantasticalMisticalWonder: They're my favorites too, your story Point of No Return did a good job with both**

**Ace of Gallifrey: Glad to get a laugh out of people! What can I say never been a big Raoul fan so I couldn't resist, I'm sure if said Viscount could read this he'd be very offended, my work is completed!**

**ILoveRaminKarmiloo: (First LOVE your screen name!) Never Fear! I have not abandoned this story! Glad you find it to be epic, enjoy the chapter!**

**Okay so if anyone is actually still reading this than I'd just like to say that I was originally going to update my Titanic story first (I'm not self-advertising *shifty eyes*) but the response for this story was so overwhelming I had to work on it. Thank you to all my reviewers and story alert and favorites people! Y'all are the best!**

**Disclaimer: I no own Mizzies, Lnd's, or any other references made in here. If you want it put more eloquently look elsewhere.**

Jenny:*walks into stage…theater…place where the mizzies have been kept* Hello all! How is everyone?

Everyone: *is dead*

Jen: Oh crab cakes not again! *turns to readers* you guys warned me! This is what happens when I leave them without food or water for several months. *pulls out a large gold wand with an A on the end*

Everyone: *is now living*

Èponine: Well it's about freaking time!

Jen: Yes, yes I'm a bad person; we've been over this already see? *points to AN*

Enjolras: This is injustice!

Jenny: Injustice? THIS! IS! SPARTA! *clears throat* Sorry couldn't resist. Anyways, Enjy I know you love rebellion but you point a weapon of any kind at me I will lock you in a room with several crazed fan girls.

Enjolras: *Backs off, mostly because I called him Enjy*

Jenny: Anyways! A bunch of you will get to start today, and since you guys got so out of hand last chapter I am forced to bring in an assistant. Julie get in here!

Julie:*pops in with half a bagel in her hand* AH! I didn't shoot the fudge!

Jen: Hey Julie!

Julie: Oh God no…please no!

Jen: *grins* welcome to-

Julie: Don't say it! I can figure it out.

Jen: Oh poopie on you, anyway you're my assistant director so you help me keep them from interrupting!

Julie: Don't you like it when they interrupt, for "comedy"?

Jen: I- You- They-

Julie: That's what I thought, Bah bye!

Jen: The sad thing is that I'm the older one! *sigh* Marius and Chorus just go!

Marius: Can't I have a different part?

Jen: *brandishes wand* Oh I can give you a new part!

Marius: Eep!

_**BYSTANDER 1 Hurry up! **_

_**MARIUS**__** You won't believe it! **_Uhh... believe what?

Jen: Are you-*looks around* Oh, yeah! I almost forgot! *Scenery and costumes magically appear* Now-

Random Crowd: GET ON WITH IT!

Jen: Uh yeah that.

_**BYSTANDER 3 **_

_**Take a look what's over here! **_

_**BYSTANDER 4 Who imagined just how big the place would be?**_

_**BYSTANDERS 2 & 3**____**The man called Mr. Y put it up in just a year**_

_**.**_

Marius: Ple-

Jen: OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE MR. Y IS THE PHANTOM! *covers mouth* oh shiz! If you'll excuse me I need to go eat a bar of soap…it's my spoiler penalty. In the meantime back to work.

_**ALL BYSTANDERS**____**It's a little slice of Heaven by the sea**_

_**(More onlookers enter, gazing around in amazement.)**_

_**ONLOOKER 1 Look, there's restaurants! **_

_**MARIUS**__** A midway! **_

_**ONLOOKER 3 A gigantic concert hall! **_

_**BYSTANDER 1 The biggest funhouse ever seen!**_

_**ONLOOKER 4 A volcano that erupts each day at three!**_

_**MARIUS**__** Wonders brought from 'round the world! **_

_**ONLOOKER**__** 1 & MARIUS The season's just begun, **_

_**but Mr. Y has got it all! **_

_**BYSTANDER 1 Crystal fountains! **_

_**MARIUS**__** Grand pavilions!**_

_**BYSTANDER 3 & 4**____**Hell, it musta cost him millions!**_

Real Mme. Giry: Language!

Cosette: Uh, what are you doing here?

Mme Giry: Someone's got to keep zhings in order while Jenny's washing 'er mouth!

_**BYSTANDERS/ONLOOKERS It's a little slice of Heaven by the sea! **_

_**(The crowd gets bigger, and more festive.) **_

_**ONLOOKER 1 Over here! **_

_**CROWD (ALL) The sights! The sounds! The lights! The smells!  
>The wonder wheels! The carousels!<br>The gardens and arcades**__**,  
>the marble colonnades!<strong>_

Marius: What's a colonnade?

Jen: I'm back! Thanks Mme! *Pulls out dictionary* A series of regularly spaced columns!

_**CROWD 1 The rides! **_

_**MARIUS**__** (Echoing.)**__** The rides!**___

_**CROWD 1 The shows! **_

_**CROWD 2 (Echoing.)**__** The shows!**_

_**CROWD 1 & 2 The games of chance! **_

_**CROWD 1 The rush! **_

_**CROWD 2 (Echoing.)**__** The rush!**___

_**CROWD 1 The whirl! **_

_**CROWD 2 (Echoing.)**__** The whirl!**___

_**CROWD 1 The sheer romance! **_

_**CROWD 2 The sheer romance! **_

Marius: I'm really good at romantic stuff! *sings* _A heeeeeeeeart fuuulllll_

Jen: NO! DO NOT SING THAT SONG OR I WILL BE FORCED HANG YOU FROM THE RAFTERS BY YOUR TOES!

Everyone: *is freaked*

_**BYSTANDER 1 And the **__**rumors…**_

_**MARIUS**__** What about 'em?**_

_**BYSTANDER 3 & 4**____**Things so odd you daren't doubt 'em…**_

_**ONLOOKER 1Freaks and monsters… **_

Jen: Ouch

_**MARIUS**__** Aberrations…**_

_**ONLOOKERS 3 & 4**____**Weird mechanical creations…**_

_**PASSERBY 1And the Genius who designed it wears a mask!**_

_**CROWD (Whispers.)**__** A mask? A mask?**___

_**MARIUS**__** But what's behind it? **_ Can you tell us what is-? 

Jen: One, I'd have to scrub my mouth out again. Two, you'd faint faster than Christine in the Phantom's lair.

Christine: Well you try seeing a wax doll of yourself in a wedding dress!

Jen: Oh go back to your own fic.

_**BYSTANDERS What's behind it? **_

_**SPECTATORS What's behind it?**_

_**OBSERVERS What's behind it? **_

_**FULL CROWD what's behind it?**_

_**? **_

_**(The crowd erupts in a burst of excitement, fanning out through the park, **_

_**Chattering**__** and pointing.)**_

_**PASSERBY 1 Fancy ballrooms! **_

_**PASSERBY 2 Vaulted spaces!**_

_**ONLOOKERS 1 & 2**____**Shoot-the-chutes and steeplechases!**_

_**ONLOOKERS 3 & 4**____**A casino!**_

_**SPECTATORSA museum! **_

_**PASSERBY Look! A Roman colosseum! **_

_**BYSTANDER 1 And a concert hall that's bigger than the Met**_

_**!**_

_**ALL BYSTANDERS**__** (First singly, then building to the full group.)**__**  
>What's inside it?<br>What's inside it?  
>What's inside it?<br>What's inside it?**_

**(The façade of the amusement park bleeds through whilst the ensemble****freeze, and we see, behind the vast posters, MEG and two other chorines,****peeking through a hole and surveying the crowd.)**

Jen: Okay Cosette- Cosette? Dag-diggitedy! Get over here!

Cosette: Dag-diggitedy?

Jen: Yes dag-diggetedy, now get over here and start your song!

Cosette: Please no, have mercy!

Jen: You do realize I've brought your mother and your adoptive father back to life and the Thernadiers, other than Gavroche and Èponine have made no appearances? This is about as merciful as I get.

Cosette:*sigh* Fine.

_**MEG/COSETTE Jesus, what a crowd. **_

_**SHOWGIRL 1 Nervous? **_

_**MEG/ COSETTE Just a bit. **_These people are all going to see me topless aren't they?

Jen: Don't worry I'll be supplying them with blindfolds, and myself as well, I'm trying to preserve the innocence of our eyes. Marius may have actually hurt me if I didn't.

Cosette: Thank you?

_**SHOWGIRL 1 Kid, look who you are! **_

_**SHOWGIRL 2 The headline act! **_

_**SHOWGIRL 1 A major star! **_

_**SHOWGIRL 2 You're already a hit. **_

**(To SHOWGIRL 1.)**** Got a match**_**?**___

_**MEG (To herself.)**__** Wonder what he'll think…**___ Who?

**SHOWGIRL 1 (to SHOWGIRL 2.)**** The boss?**

_**MEG if he's even here. **_If who's here?

Jen: Phantom/Enjolras…dog gone it! I'll be back later.

_**SHOWGIRL 1 Honey please… He's here. **_

_**SHOWGIRL 2 And in just two days,  
>he'll be there tossing you bouquets.<br>At our gala premiere.**_

Enjolras: Um no I won't.

Jen: *with soap bubbles* *spits* Enjolras, you don't speak till next scene.

Enjolras: Till I hear You Sing?

Jen: What? No I don't sing until-ohh! Yeah, see readers you don't have to be blonde to be a ditz. *clears throat* any who…

_**SHOWGIRL 2 **_**Picture it! **

**SHOWGIRL 1 The cream of Manhattan!**

**SHOWGIRL 2 Celebrities! Millionaires! **

**SHOWGIRL 1 Watching you! **

_**MEG/COSETTE **_Ahh! PRESSURE!

_**(In a private reverie.)**__** I'll be waiting in the wing,**___

_**wound up tighter than a spring,  
>as the house begins to dim.<br>And I'll practice ev'ry line,  
>hoping desperately to shine.<br>Shining only for him. **_

Enjolras: Awkward…

_**SHOWGIRLS Just imagine how they'll cheer **_

_**At the moment you appear.**_

_**MEG/COSETTE Stepping out before the scrim..!  
>Let 'em whoop and let 'em call,<br>I won't hear the crowd at all…**_

_**SHOWGIRLS No, it's only for him. **_

_**MEG/COSETTE (Suddenly self-conscious.)**__** Tell me how I look.**___

_**SHOWGIRL 2 Fine. **_

_**MEG/ COSETTE (Worried.)**__** Just fine?**___Great I'm a perfectionist too!

Jen:*le gasp!* Was that…sarcasm?

_**MEG/COSETTE**__** What about my hair? **_

_**SHOWGIRL 2 Beautiful.**_

_**MEG/COSETTE/ You swear? **_

_**SHOWGIRL 1 Trust me, once the boss **_

_**sees how you put that song across. **_

_**SHOWGIRL 2 Hell, he ain't got a prayer **_

Enjolras: Okay, now I'm scared.

**MEG (Hopefully.)**** You mean it**_**?**___

Enjolras: Yeah, I really am scared.

Jen:Oh shut up, Cosette -

Random Crowd: GET ON WITH IT!

Jen: Okay who opened the Python Portal?

_**SHOWGIRLS You'll step out into the light. **_

_**SHOWGIRL 1 Looking lovely! **_

_**SHOWGIRL 2 Burning bright! **_

_**SHOWGIRLS All vitality and vim! **_

_**MEG (Losing herself in the vision.)**__**Ah-Ahh..!**___

_**And I'll rapturously float  
>through the melody he wrote,<br>singing only for him. **_

_**SHOWGIRLS **_

_**And before the music dies, up the audience will rise,  
>nearly bursting at the brim!<br>And you'll stand there in the glow…**_

_**MEG (Wishful.)**__** And perhaps, at last he'll know…**___

Èponine: This is all sounding very familiar.

**(Another SHOWGIRL peeks out of the stage door.) **

**SHOWGIRL 3 Girls! Hurry up! We're on! **

Jen: Blindfolds!

Everyone: *can't see*

**(And as the company begin to move again and the girls rush to make an  
>entrance, the Gates to PHANTASMA swing open and the girls come out, now in<br>the company of the ****specialty acts – MS FLECK, as an aerialist, GANGLE, the  
>barker, and the strongman SQUELCH.)<strong>

Jen: *while swinging from a trapeze* This is really hard when you can't-AAHHH! *Weakly*See.

_**BYSTANDER Where is she? **_

_**ONLOOKER 1 Look! There! **_

_**ONLOOKER 2 In the center! **_

_**PASSERBY 1 Just like in the posters! **_

_**PASSERBY 2 it's the Ooh La La Girl! **_

_**ONLOOKER 3 & 4 Meg Giry! **_

_**MEG/ COSETTE Welcome each and everyone **_

_**to our firmament of fun! **_

_**SHOWGIRLS A buffet of Ballyhoo! **_What the heck is Ballyhoo?

_**MEG/ COSETTE & SHOWGIRLS**____**It's where Coney comes to play **_

_**and it's opening today! **_

_**MEG**__**/ COSETTE And it's only for you! **_

_**SHOWGIRL 1 And you! **_

_**SHOWGIRL 2 And you! **_

_**SHOWGIRL 3 And you! **_

_**SHOWGIRLS & MEG**____**Entertainment day and night, **_

_**sure to dazzle and delight! **_

_**MEG/ COSETTE And of course we'll be there too! **_

_**SHOWGIRLS (Waving and flirting with the crowd.)**__** Yoo hoo!**___

_**SHOWGIRLS & MEG/ COSETTE We're so happy that you're here,  
>for the season's big premiere!<br>And it's only for you!**_

**(MEG****/ COSETTE**__**does a little curtsey to the audience and runs off. As the SHOWGIRLS **

**continue to dance; the stage revolves again so that we're backstage.) **

**GANGLE/JAVERT: Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Meg Giry, the Ooh La La Girl! Five shows daily, only here at Phantasmal. **

**(Begins to cross fade to MEG**_** / **_**COSETTE ) **

**And now the aerial exoticism of the fabulous Miss Fleck – half bird, half **

**woman, all for only 10 cents a ticket…**

Jen; I am not half-bird!

**(MADAME GIRY/FANTINE is waiting there and MEG/COSETTE runs over to her.) **

**MEG/ COSETTE How was I? Tell me? **Hi Mommy!

**MADAME GIRY/FANTINE **Hi Cosette!** Delightful, Meg. Just perfect. And I say that not only as your mother… But as your producer. **I'm a producer! _I wanna be a producer!_

Jen:GAH! EVERY TIME!

**MEG/COSETTE Was he watching? **

Enjolras: No I wasn't, we've been over this already!

**MADAME GIRY/FANTINE I'm sure he was. I'm sure he'll have much to say about how much you've progressed. **

Enjolras: Liar

Jen: Do shut up kindly!

**(They begin to exit. Then she pauses offhandedly.) **

**By the way, it seems you have an admirer. A certain Mr. Thompson. **

**MEG/COSETTE (Hesitantly.) Is he important? **I don't like where this is going…

**(They exit as the stage darkens until…) **

**SCENE 2 – The Aerie. **

Jen: okay Enjolras you're on!

Enjolras: Can't Marius do this?

Jen: I told you he's too lame!

**(In the darkness, the glowing figure of a beautiful woman suddenly appears.****She is ravishing, breathtaking, and alive. Behind her circles a man in a mask – THE****PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS.**

**He embraces her from behind, and their bodies entwine, but at the height of the ecstatic moment, we realize that the woman is not in fact real… But a cleverly devised automaton.**

**THE PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS pulls back, breaking the spell. The lights rise, revealing the **

**Phantom's workroom.) **

Èponine: Okay, that's just creepy. *stands next to the Christine robot which has the exact same facial features as her*

Enjolras: Did I hit my head or something?

Jen: Don't finish that, please, I refuse to write such a corny line. *changes him into Phantom*

Enjolras: Seriously? What's up with the mask:

Jen:*groans, snatches mask and holds up mirror*

Enjolras: Gah!

Èponine: Wow, I thought the robot was creepy, then again, I also thought scar face here was a pretty boy.

Enjolras: Do shut up.

Èponine: Make me!

Jen: Wait you thought he was pretty?

Èponine: I- Well- That's beside the point.

Jen: *smirks* Uh huh…

_**PHANTOM**__**/ENJOLRAS (To the automaton.)**__** Ten long years,**___I'm talking to a robot?

_**Living**__** a mere façade of life.  
>Ten long years, <strong>_Since what?

Jen: Since the first show.

Enjolras: Oh_**  
>wasting my time on smoke and noise.<br>In my mind,  
>I hear melodies pure and unearthly,<br>but I find,  
>I can't give them a voice without you! <strong>_Who?

Jen:*groan* keep singing.

_****__**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS My Christine..! **_Oh…_**  
>My Christine..!<br>Lost and gone…  
>Lost and gone… <strong>_okay I think we get the point now!

_**The day starts.  
>The day ends.<br>Time crawls by.  
>Night steals in, pacing the floor.<strong>__**  
>The moments creep,<br>yet I can't bear to sleep**_ I'm an insomniac?_**  
>'till I hear you sing…<strong>_

_**And weeks pass.  
>And months pass.<br>Seasons fly.  
>Still you don't walk through the door.<br>And in a haze.  
>I count the silent days <strong>_That's all he's been doing…for ten years._**  
>'till I hear you sing once more.<strong>_

_**And sometimes,  
>at night times,<br>I dream that you are there - -**_

Fantine_: I dreamed a dream in-_

Jen: CAN IT!

_****__**PHANTOM?ENJOLRAS But wake holding nothing,  
>but the empty air… <strong>_I'm schizophrenic too, awesome.

_**And years come.  
>And years go.<br>Time runs dry.  
>Still I ache, down to the core.<strong>___ AND I've got a stomach ache? How much more is wrong with me here?

Lina Lamont:*high squeaky voice* _What's wrooooong with meeee? Whyyyyyyy doesn't he-?_

Jen: Oh no you don't I had to listen to that song 7 times in a week last spring! *Lina disappears* Please continue.

_**PHANTOM?ENJOLRAS: **__**My broken soul **_Gah! It's not enough that I can't sleep, see stuff that isn't there, and have a stomach ache but my soul broke! Ponine this is all your fault apparently!

Èponine: Cool. And don't call me Ponine only Marius gets to do that.

Jen: For the record, there will be E/E in here but at the moment they are determined to hate each other since I stuck them together. They're quite stubborn. Now Enjolras kindly continue.

_**PHANTOM?ENJOLRAS can't be alive and whole,  
>'till I hear you sing once more.<strong>_

_**And music-  
>Your music! -<br>It teases at my ear.  
>I turn - - and it fades away<br>And you're not here! **_See? Now I'm hearing things!

_**Let hopes pass**__**,  
>let dreams pass!<br>Let them die!  
>Without you, what are they for? <strong>_That's just sad…

Jen: SHUT UP!

_****__**PHANTOM?ENJOLRAS I'll always feel  
>no more that halfway real,<br>'till I hear you sing once more! **_The song's over! Now can I go?

Jen: No one leaves until I hear you sing! Whoops typo, I meant until I say so. Now Fantine and Meg, you're on.

**(Gently and lovingly, he covers up the lifeless mannequin. Suddenly MEG/COSETTE and MADAME GIRY/FANTINE burst in. MEG/COSETTE rushes over to him.) **

**MEG **_**Tell me, did you watch?**_

Enjolras: Cosette, don't kid yourself, we both know I didn't.

Jen: You know I gave you a script for I reason.

_****_**MEG/COSETTE **_**Tell me that you saw! **_I want him to lie? _**  
>Did you hear the crowd?<br>The way they cheered?  
>I hope you're proud - -<br>Did you like the new routine? **_I didn't!_**  
>Was it passable, I mean? <strong>_No._**  
>I can change a thing or two, <strong>_Please change it!_**  
>what should I do?<strong>_ Anything!_**  
>No, don't say it - - I can guess,<strong>_ the lyrics, the costumes, the choreography, the costumes_**  
>but I promise, I'll progress - -<strong>_

_**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS (Distracted.)**__** Yes, of course. Whatever you feel is best…**___Can't she take a hint?

_**MEG/COSETTE**_ Apparently I can't

_**Did the costume look OK?**___No!_**  
>Too revealing, would you say? <strong>_YES!_**  
>People seemed to like the view. <strong>_Um…ew?

**MADAME GIRY Meg, please! **

_**MEG I could show a bit more skin - - **_NO!

_**That would surely bring 'em in - - **_ Eeewww…

**MADAME GIRY (Exploding.)****Meg!**

**(MEG stops, wary.) **

**Can't you see that the master's at work?**

Cosette: Doing what?

Fantine: Playing with his Christine/Èponine doll.

(Enjy and Eppie glance at each other and look away quickly)

Jen: Awkward…

Fantine:…moving on.**  
>Can't you see that his mind's somewhere else?<strong>

Grantaire: *cough*gutter*cough*

Èponine:*squirms uncomfortably*

******GIRY/FANTINE: Can't you see that obviously  
>he's thinking of things more important than you!<strong>

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS (Warningly.)**** Careful, Madame. You're forgetting yourself.**And you should know I can hear you.

Jen:*facepalm* That's the idea smart one.

**MADAME GIRY/FANTINE **_**Don't you see he forgot what this is?**_ Uh… what is it?

Jen:Sing and all shall be revealed, young grasshopper.

_****_**MADAME GIRY/FANTINE:**_** Op'ning day, big deal, what's the fuss?**_ Oh._**  
>Our success means naught, I guess,<br>compared to the things that the master must do.**_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS That's quite enough. **

**(MADAME GIRY rips the cover off of the mannequin.) **

**MADAME GIRY/FANTINE (Contemptuously.)**_**Christine! Christine!**_

**MEG/COSETTE (Disappointed.)**_**Christine.**_

Èponine: Yeesh, sorry Scarface likes me.

Enjolras: Would you quit that!

Èponine: *innocently* What?

**MADAME GIRY/FANTINE: Meg. Leave. Now. **

Cosette:Yeesh, leaving!

**(Without another word(**Yeah sure**), MEG turns and exits.) **

Enjolras: THANK GOD!

**MADAME GIRY****/FANTINE: (Continues, once MEG is gone.)**_**In Paree,**___

_**when the mob surrounded you,  
>who was there?<strong>_

Enjolras: I have no clue.

_****__**FANTINE: **_*facepalm* _**We were there!**_

Enjolras: Oh.

_**Were was she**__**,  
>when the lawmen hounded you?<br>Gone, long gone.  
>We stayed on.<br>Who concealed you safe away?  
>Smuggled you up to Calais?<br>Found a freighter out of France - -**_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: (Assertive.)**_**I don't see the problem.**___

_**This is ancient hist'ry**__. _It's only ten years ago.

Jen: TEEEN YEEAARS OOLLD!

Everyone: *stares at Jen*

Jen: Must…not…give away…plot points!

_**MADAME GIRY/FANTINE: **_0_o_** And once here,  
>when the sideshow hired you,<br>who stood by?  
>Meg and I.<br>While they kept you on display,  
>Who kept working night and day?<br>Who gave your their very lives?**_

_**And who helped you buy that sideshow?**_

Enjolras: I own a sideshow?

Jen: You own a theme park.

Enjolras: Did I set the freaks free?

Jen: Yes,…I think.

_****_**MADAME GIRY/FANTINE**_** Who helped you finance your scheme?  
>Who wouldn't quit<br>'till your act was a hit.  
>And your hit could become your dream?<strong>_ _I Dreamed that looooovvvvvvvvvveeeee would-_

Jen:*eye daggers*

**MADAME GIRY****/FANTINE:***cans it*_** Who plied the politicians?  
>Lured investors and the press?<br>No, not her!**_

_**And who stayed with you,  
>Helped you and advised you?<br>We stayed with you,  
>loved and idolized you!<strong>_

Enjolras: You people are all crazy!

_****_**MADAME GIRY/FANTINE:**_** She betrayed you,  
>shunned you and despised you!<strong>_

_**She chose Raoul, chose his beauty and youth! **_

_**It's long past time you faced up to - - ! **_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: Enough! **

Grantaire: You're just mad because I married 'Ponine.

Enjolras: *testily* I had to say that it's in the script!

Jen: Sounded realistic to me…

Enjolras: Would you stay out of this?

Jen:*brandishes wand*

Enjolras: Sorry I asked…

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS****(Coldly.)**_**You'll be repaid, as I promised you would.**___

_**Now, if you've anything else left to say**_**..? **

Fantine: Well actually-

Jen: OUT!

**(Without another word, MADAME GIRY exits. For a moment, THE PHANTOM is **

**thrown. Then he turns back tot he automaton, almost as if for support.) **

_**Oh Christine!  
>My Christine!<strong>___He's so repititive…_**  
>Yes, you fled from my face once before, <strong>_And who wouldn't?_**  
>but Christine,<br>what we shared, even you can't ignore, **_

Èponine: Which was…

Jen: *can think of several naughty answers*…

Èponine and Enjolras:*glance at each other then glance away*

Gavroche: Awkward…

_**my Christine.  
>I'll be no longer denied!<br>I'll have you back by my side**__**,  
>my sweet Christine!<strong>_

**(He breaks off, overcome. Then, back in control of himself.) **Apparently I have many issues, no wonder I'm talking to a robot.

Èponine: How sad, robo-me is your only friend

_**ENJOLRAS: **_*glares* _**And come what may,  
>I swear you somehow, someway;<br>I will hear you sing once more!**_

Jen: And that's a rap! I hope you all liked it! Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I have returned! *Ducks mob of angry readers* Sorry it took so long. I'll save my ramblings for the end of the chappie, k?**

Jen: _Bonjour, tout le monde!_ Today we'll have our dear friends Eppie, Vroche and capital R performing for us. As well as _moi_, Jean and Javvie. Oh, yeah and Marius too. *grumbles* stupid stalker dude.

Marius: Ouch

**SCENE 3 – Pier 69, Manhattan. Outside the custom house Gates**

**(…and we are suddenly dockside at the disembarking of a massive ocean liner. A little welcome band sits nearby, playing loudly. Reporters, photographers, well-wishers and gawkers form an aisle to greet the disembarking passengers. A latecomer rushes in.)**

**MARIUS: ****Has the Persephone****docked yet?**

**ONLOOKER 1: ****Yeah, the passengers are going through customs now.**

**ONLOOKER 2: ****Here they come!**

**(The first passengers come through the gate: a portly lady wearing an ****enormous plumed hat, escorted by a dapper gentleman.)**

**MARIUS: ****It's Mrs. Astor! **Who?

Jen: She was married to a rich guy.

**PHOTOGRAPHER 1: ****Hey, Mrs. Astor! Over here!**

**(MRS ASTOR turns and flashbulbs go off.)**

**REPORTER 2: ****How was your trip?**

**REPORTER 3: ****Is that the latest Paris style?**

**(She blows them a kiss and is escorted to her waiting carriage. The crowd is already looking past her.)**

Lady Gaga: _I'm your biggest fan; I'll follow you until you love me!_

Jen: You know just because the paparazzi are here doesn't mean you need to sing. Sorry Gaga, but now's not a good time. *Lady Gaga disappears*

Cosette: Was her dress made out of meat?

Jen: Yes, yes it was.

**ONLOOKER 2:**** Look, there's Colonel Vanderbilt!**

**MARIUS: ****Hey, Colonel, enjoyed those French pastries, didja? **Who doesn't?

Jenny: Mmm, pastries…*coughs* my bad keep going!

**COLONEL VANDERBILT: ****(Smiles broadly.)****There's nothing there we don't have bigger and better over here, I assure you.**

**PHOTOGRAPHER 2: ****Thanks Colonel!**

**(The Colonel smile indulgently, pats his ample waistline lightly as the**** flashbulbs go off, then moves on.)**

**REPORTER 2: ****Over there, that's Oscar Hammerstein, ain't it?**

**PHOTOGRAPHER 1: ****Hey, Mr. H, over here, this way!**

**(HAMMERSTEIN approaches the press line.)**

**REPORTER 3: ****How was Europe?**

**ONLOOKER 1: ****Hey, there she is! **

Marius: Who?

Jen: Give it a minute…

**(HAMMERSTEIN is forgotten. All eyes turn. Suddenly, framed in the gateway, clutching the hand of a Young boy stands CHRISTINE DAAÉ.)**

Marius: Oh. That she.

Èponine: No need to sound so exited. I feel the love.

Enjolras: Ouch, I can feel the sarcasm from here.

Èponine: How come you never shut him up?

Jen: I've tried, he won't be silenced. Now go back to posing for the cameras.

**(She is nearly obscured by veils and cloche hat, but she is gorgeous, iconic - - every inch a star. ****There is a moment of awed silence as the onlookers take in this vision… Then pandemonium. ****Flashbulbs explode, as the crowd surges around her.)**

**REPORTERS & PHOTOGRAPHERS: ****Christine Daaé! Christine Daaé! Over here! This way!**

**(CHRISTINE, still silent, pulls the boy closer, protectively, then - -)**

Gavroche: 'Ponine cut it out!

Èponine: Sorry! The script told me to.

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: ****Her name is Madame de Chagny! Stand aside! Stand aside, please!**

Èponine: Dear God why did I marry you?

Grantaire: Hey in half the fics about me I'm either gay or a player. I think the question is why did _I_ marry _you?_

Èponine: …Touché.

**(Her husband appears. Dapper and handsome, brusque, irate.)**

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: No pictures, do you hear? No pictures of my wife, no pictures of the boy!**

**(But he is ignored in the frenzy.)**

**REPORTER 1 ****Hey Christine, why Coney Island?**

**REPORTER 2: ****Your first concert in years, why ain'tcha singin' at the Met?**

Èponine: Because they didn't hire me!

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: ****The Vicomtesse has been engaged by the well-known impresario –**

**REPOTER 3: Well known? **

**MARIUS: No one's ever seen the guy! **Wait yes they have! *counting on his fingers* Mme Giry, Meg, Fleck Gangle and Squelch.

Jen: *eye roll* Thank you for stating what we already know, but the media doesn't know that, genius.

**REPORTER 3****: How'd he lure the great Christine Daaé over here, anyways?**

**MARIUS****: It's the money, right?**

Èponine: Wow, it's nice to hear you have such a high opinion of me!

Marius: What? 'Ponine that wasn't-

Èponine: And why would you?! I only introduced you to your wife, even though I was in love with you at the time!

Marius: Was? 'Ponine of course I-

Èponine: And let's not forget the time I carried your letter to her, through a frigging WAR ZONE!

Jen: Um, Èponine?

Èponine: Oh yeah, and the grand finale, frigging DIED for you!

Marius and Jen: 'PONINE!

Èponine: What?!

Jen: That was just his line; he didn't mean it for real.

Èponine: Oh. Uh...sorry about that...

Jen: Why don't you guys go talk for a bit? *Marius and Èponine go talk* Let's keep it moving people.

**REPORTER 3****: All that American moolah!**

**REPORTER 1****: Hey Christine, whatcha gonna sing, "Yankee Doodle Moolah"?**

**(The crowd guffaws.)**

**RAOUL/GRAINTAIRE:**** (Heatedly) My wife is an artist, sir - - !**

**MARIUS****: Yeah, and her art is payin' off your gambling debts, is what they're sayin' in France.**

Grantaire: Whoa, Pontmercy has balls? Who would have thought?

Marius:*grumble grumbleeverytime?grumble grumble*

**REPORTER 3****: Is it true you left your entire fortune on a roulette table in Monte Carlo?**

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE****: Why, you insolent jackal! How dare you - -**

**GUSTAVE****/GAVROCHE: Father –**

**RAOUL****/GRANTAIRE: (Snapping) Not now, Gustave!**

Gavroche: *pouts*

**REPORTER 1****: Hey kid, how does it feel to have a famous mother?**

Gavroche: I wouldn't know, 'Ponine's my sister.

**MARIUS: ****This is your first time in America?**

**REPORTER 3****: What do you plan to do here at Coney?**

Gavroche: Ride a roller coaster, eat cotton candy, and eat hotdogs...

Jen: Yeah...read your line.

** :****(Shy) ****I… want to learn how to swim. **That's all I'm gonna do...in a huge theme park...I'm just gonna... swim?

Jen: Gustave has the personality ofWonerbread.

**(The crowd hoots and laughs, and the boy shrinks back against CHRISTINE)**

Jen: And the courage of Scooby-doo.

Li Shang: _With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

Jen...

Gavroche: Well?

Jen: Mmm...What?

Grantaire: Don't you need to get rid of him?

Jen: Oh...right, okay. Off you go Shang.

Shang:*disappears...sigh*

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE:**** I said, leave the child alone! (He looks around anxiously) For God's sake, didn't this Mr. Y send someone to receive us?**

**(Suddenly animated, the boy steps forward.)**

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE: ****(Pointing) ****Mother, look..? Right over there…Across the square...What is it?**

**(All eyes turn as a strange carriage appears, fancifully designed. The horses ****appear to be mechanical, and the driver's face seems to be completely ****obscured.)**

Jen: Yes! VJ, Javvie, we're on!

VJ and Javvie: *Grumble at my choice of nicknames*

**ONLOOKERS :****( Muttering amongst themselves.)What on earth could it be? I've never seen such a thing before in my life! Damn strange, that's what it is! The most peculiar conveyance! Etc.**

**(Suddenly the doors of the carriage open, revealing… A completely empty interior. And then, three figures extricate themselves from the empty space. ****They bow in unison at the crowd, then approach CHRISTINE and family with ****bizarre yet oddly beautiful motions.)**

**SQUELCH / VALJEAN: Are you ready to begin? Are you ready to get on? You're about to start out on the journey of your lives.**

**(With a flourish, he reaches behind GUSTAVE's ear and pulls out a colored handkerchief, which he then let's go.)**

Valjean: How did I go that?

Jen: Same way we climbed out of an empty carriage, through the plot hole.

**RAOUL / GRANTAIRE:**** (Bewildered, outraged.) Is this some kind of joke?**

**ONLOOKER 1: ****No, it's a publicity stunt for that freak show on Coney!**

**REPORTER 1****: It's a front page feature, is what it is! You getting this, Smitty?**

**PHOTOGRAPHER 1:**** (Snapping pictures.)****You betcha!**

**(The thin one speaks next.)**

Javert: So that's all I am? The thin one?

Jen: Better than being "the fat one."

Valjean: What are you trying to imply?

Jen: That's not what I... you know what? Just say your lines Javvie.

Javvie: *grumbles about nicknames some more...just get over it Javvie*

**GANGLE/JAVERT: If you're ready, then get in. Once you're in, then we'll get gone. And who knows, once it goes, where you'll be when it arrives?**

**(With one fluid motion, he removes RAOUL's top hat… And suddenly makes it vanish into thin air.)**

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE****: This is outrageous! **I LIKED that hat!

**ONLOOKER 2/MARIUS****: It's amazing! **Why do you hate me?

Jen: I gave you a small part, doesn't mean I hate you.

**ONLOOKER 3****: Brilliant!**

**ONLOOKER 4****: I'm telling ya, that Mr. Y is an absolute genius!**

**(GANGLE and SQUELCH flank the family and walk them towards the carriage as the bird-like FLECK beckons them forward.)**

**FLECK/JEN: It's a fun house where the mirrors all reflect what's real.**

**FLECK & GANGLE/JEN & JAVERT:**** (Whispered.) ****And reality's as twisted as the mirrors reveal. **

**FLECK, GANGLE & SQUELCH/ JEN, JAVERT & VALJEAN: And the fun is finding out what the mirrors show…**

Cosette: Freaky.

Jen: Well duh, we're freaks.

Everyone:*groans*

Jen: Hey, all my jokes can't be winners.

Bad Jokes: *go cry in a corner*

Jen: You see what you did!

**(The Group is now at the door of the carriage. CHRISTINE is led inside, then RAOUL, protesting.)**

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: ****This is unacceptable, do you hear me? I will be taking this up with your employer! Whoever he is!**

Enjolras: It's me.

Grantaire: No wonder things are so weird here. But shouldn't there be someone spouting off the virtues of the republic and French flags and stuff?

Enjolras: I hate you.

**(Only GUSTAVE, the boy, remains outside the carriage.)**

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE:**** (Excited.) ****Everything and everyone - -It's all just how I dreamed…All the freaks, and all the fun, exactly how I dreamed…And Phantasma still awaits…Wonder what's behind its gates…**an amusement park maybe?

**(The boy climbs in. Silently, the carriage rolls off as onlookers watch, speechless, until it disappears. ****The welcome band bursts back into song.)**

**REPORTER 1****: That was somethin', wasn't it?**

**ONLOOKER 1:**** I was hoping she'd sing. Caruso sang half of Pagliacco for us when he got off the boat.**

**MARIUS:**** Eh, I bet she ain't got it no more, not like the old days. Sure, she's pitch perfect… But empty inside. Like the flame went out of somethin'. ***scared expression* Ponine I swear that was in the script!

Eponine: You're forgiven.

**(Someone points to the arrival Gates.)**

**MARIUS****: Look! It's the Rockefellers!**

Enjolras: Nice attention span.

Marius: See?

Jen: _I think I'm paranoid_

Marius: grumblegrumbleamnotgrumble

**(The band keeps playing as we transition to…)**

**SCENE 4 – The hotel. A hotel suite. Evening.**

**(RAOUL, CHRISTINE and GUSTAVE settle into a spacious hotel suite. There is a huge window with ornate drapes, a chaise, some chairs and tables, ****and a piano upon which rests some sheet music.**** As the family enters, GUSTAVE runs to the piano and snatches an object from it. He sits with his back to us, preoccupied with his find. ****RAOUL immediately goes to the table and pours himself a brandy.)**

Grantaire: Brandy? Well, I prefer absinthe, or wine, but sure brandy's okay.

Enjolras: You truly are a Wine Cask, aren't you?

Grantaire: *huge grin* Yup!

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: What a dreadful town! **

**What a vulgar place! **

**What an awful mistake to have come here! **I am such a nice guy.

**To be on display in that shameless way for the crude, common, lower-class scum here.**

**How do they dare to treat us so!** Yep, just a pleasant, pleasant man.

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE: Father dear, come play with me, come and see this toy I've got –**

**(RAOUL takes a slug of brandy, slams down his glass.)**

Gavroche: Well then.

Grantaire: Sorry kid, it's in the script.

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: What a snub, at most **

**From our so-called host –Did he think sending freaks would be funny?**

Enjolras: Yes, yes I did.

Eponine: HE ADMITTED IT!

Grantaire: Apollo has a sense of HUMOR?!

Enjolras: *fumes*

**GRANTAIRE: Could the fool have thought **

**that our pride was bought **

**by his filthy American money?**

**What a farce!**

**What an outright slap in the face! **

**It's an utter disgrace! **

**I've got a mind to pack and go,**

**never you mind the debts we owe! **

**Who would believe we've sunk this low?**

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE: Father, please, come play with me - **

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: Please tell the boy the answer's no!**

**(In the moment of silence that follows, CHRISTINE idly plays a few notes from**** the sheet Music on the piano.)**

**(Through gritted teeth.) Must you make that racket?**

Eponine: Hangover?

Grantaire: No, I'm drunk, that was in the script.

Eponine: Ah.

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE:**** It's the aria I'm to sing tomorrow. **Enjolras you bastard! You invite me here to sing and only give me one day to learn it?

Enjolras: You have issues distinguishing the script from reality.

Eponine: Still, one day?

Valjean: One day mo-

Jen: NO! NOT AGAIN!

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: ****It hurts my head.**

Eponine: Sure you don't have a hangover?

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE: Please let's not fight, dear…**

**I'm sure that no one intended a slight, dear…**

Enjolras: Yes, I did.

Eponine: Kindly keep out of this.

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: Don't you patronize me,**

**it's your fault we came here.**

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE: We need the money, that's all.**

**That's why things haven't been right, dear…**

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: Why doesn't it surprise me that I get the blame here?**

Eponine: Well it kind of is your fault.

Grantaire: Touché.

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE: Let's leave tonight, dear…** Not going to happen.

**If that would serve to ease your troubled mind…**

**Leave the hurt behind.**

**(His anger subsides as she soothes him. Then...)**

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE: Father dear, come over here, and look at what they gave to me, wind it up, and father, see –Look, it plays a melody **

**(The wind-up toy plays the same little tune that the marching band played at the dockside… Until RAOUL, unable to bear it smashes it down.)**

Grantaire: Die music box!

Anastasia: My music box!

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE:**** I need some air.**

Enjolras: Translation: I need some wine.

**(He moves to the door.)**

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE:**** Raoul, please..!**

**RAOUL/GRANTAIRE: ****(Turns at door, roughly.) Please what?**

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE:**** Nothing. Only… Raoul, don't drink any more.**

Grantaire and Eponine: *stare at each other seriously then burst out laughing*

**(He hesitates a moment, then leaves, slamming the door behind him.)**

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE:**** (Crestfallen.) **

**Father never plays with me,**

**doesn't he love me?**

Eponine: Nope.

Gavroche: You're an awful mother.

Eponine: I'm about to sing a whole song to comfort you. Deal with it.

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE: Love's a curious thing,**

**It often comes disguised.**

**Look at love the wrong way,**

**It goes unrecognized…** Marius it's a song about you!

**So look with your heart,**

**and not with your eyes.**

**The heart understands,**

**the heart never lies.**

**Believe what it feels,**

**and trust what it shows.**

**Look with your heart - -**

**The heart always knows.**

**Love is not always beautiful,**

**not at the start…**

**So open your arms,**

**and close your eyes tight,**

**look with your heart,**

**and when it finds love,**

**your heart will be right.**

**(Suddenly serious.)**

**Learn from someone who knows…**

**Make sure you don't forget.**

**Love you misunderstand**

**is love that you'll regret… **Marius...

**(She trails off… Lost, perhaps, in memory. After a long moment…)**

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE:**** Mother..?**

**(Prompting her.)**

**Look with your heart…**

**And not with your eyes…**

**The heart can't be fooled.**

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE: The heart is too wise.**

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE: Forget what you think - - **Never a good message...

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE: Ignore what you hear – **Also not good, Marius.

Marius: I've said I was sorry at least eight times, 'Ponine.

**GUSTAVE & CHRISTINE/GAVROCHE & EPONINE: Look with your heart!**

**It always sees clear**

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE: Love is not always beautiful, not at the start…**

**CHRISTINE/EPONINE: But open your arms…**

**And close your eyes tight…**

**Look with your heart…**

**And when it finds love…**

**Your heart will be right.**

Jen: And after that song about how you should ignore anything bad the person you love does...

**(GUSTAVE exits, attended by a nanny)**

Gavroche: Ponine, you're pawning me off on a nanny?! Worst mom ever!

Eponine: Hey, I'm a busy woman!

**( As the music continues under, she hums the melody to herself as she picks the toy up off the floor where the boy has ****left it. She winds it and lets it play. Instead of the marching band music, the toy plays a different melody. She freezes. Then whirls around. And CHRISTINE and THE PHANTOM gaze at one another for the first time in ten years. A long, lingering gaze. Then…)**

**A/N: I. AM. EVIL! I leave you people without an update for ages and the leave you with a cliffhanger. (Hanging from a cliff!) So, yeah... I'm alive, would whoever sent the orange fire-breathing alpaca call it off please? It kind of ate my older brother... Anyways, I'm really sorry I left you guys for so long, I don't have a good excuse. So if it's not too much to ask, please review my story, it would help me so much to make this story, and my others which I SWEAR I will get around to updating them.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello and thank you to anyone who's stuck with my story this far! You people make me happy.**

**Wickedchick500: Again sorry about the long wait. Look! I updated again!**

**Chriscolfer-andme: You rock, thank you so much for your review.**

Jen: I apologize for my evil cliffy.

Enjolras: *eye daggers* You left me. Standing right here. In a fake room. With her.

Èponine: Hey, at least you don't have to listen to someone blathering about politics.

Enjolras: That's not what –

Èponine: Here he goes.

Jen: Hoo boy, this scene's going to be a doozy. On that note, Eponine would you mind?

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE**_**:**_ *grumbles* _**I should have known that you'd be here… **_Considering you apparently stalked me for the entire last show.

Enjolras: You would know.

Eponine: *ignoring him* Also, the theme park is called PHANTasma, and a theme park that wants an opera singer? There can't be many of those.

Enjolras:...

Eponine: *still ignoring* _**I should have known it all along.**_

_**This whole arrangement bears your stamp.**_

_**You're in each measure of that song.**_

_**How dare you try and claim me now!**_ Yeah, why wait ten years?

_**How dare you come invade my life!**_ Seriously, I'm married!

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS:***ignoring her*_**Oh Christine…**_

_**My Christine..!**_ Not this again!

_**In that time when the world thought me dead,**_

_**my Christine,**_

_**on the night just before you were wed**_ Where exactly is this going...?

_**ah, Christine!**_

_**You came and found where I hid**_ What?

_**, don't you deny that you did,**_

Eponine: I don't know what I did, but I will deny it until the day I die.

Enjolras*glare*

_**That long ago night..!**_

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE :****( Remembering.)****That night…**

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS**_**: Once, there was a night,**_

_**beneath a moonless sky,**_

_**too dark to see a thing,**_

_**too dark to even try – **_Why don't I like where this is going?

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE**_**: I stole to your side**_

_**to tell you I must go.**_

_**I couldn't see your face,**_

_**but sensed you even so.**_

_**And I touched you – **_Um...

Jen: Yeah, it's an awkward song.

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**And I felt you –**_

Grantaire: This is priceless.

**CHRISTINE & PHANTOM/ÈPONINE & ENJOLRAS:***glaring*_**And I heard those ravishing refrains…**_

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE**_**: The music of your pulse –**_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**The singing in your veins –**_ Eponine you're causing problems again!

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE: **_**And I held you – **_Oh shut up.

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**And I touched you – **_Make me.

Jen: Why do I feel like I've forgotten something?

Gavroche: Beats me.

Jen: Oh! Shiznets, Gavroche this isn't appropriate for children! Coufeyrac get him out of here!

Eponine: *inching toward the door*

Enjolras: Oh no, if I have to sit through this then so do you.

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE:***sigh*_**And embraced you –**_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**And I felt you –**_

**CHRISTINE & PHANTOM/ÈPONINE & ENJOLRAS: **_**And with every breath and every sigh – **_

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE: **_**I felt no longer scared… **_Shouldn't I? You're kind of a murderer.

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**I felt no longer shy… **_*shrugs* Apparently you're the one who came and found me.

**CHRISTINE & PHANTOM/ÈPONINE & ENJOLRAS**_**: At last, our feelings bared,**_

_**beneath the moonless sky.**_

Grantaire: That's not all that was bared!

Eponine: *face palms* This is awkward enough Grantaire, we don't need help.

Grantaire: Hey, aren't you cheating on me during this song?

Eponine: … Fine.

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE: **_**And, blind in the dark, **_Ah, that helps.

Grantaire: *failing at not laughing*

Enjolras:*looks indignant*

Eponine: *grinning*_**as soul gazed into soul,**_

_**I looked into your heart, **_Ew.

_**and saw you pure and whole.**_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**Cloaked under the night,**_

_**with nothing to suppress,**_

_**a woman and a man,**_

_**no more and yet… No less.**_

_**And I kissed you –**_ Here we go again.

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE**_**: And caressed you –**_

**PHANTOM & CHRISTINE/ENJOLRAS & ÈPONINE: **_**And the world around us fell away.**_

_**We said things in the dark**_

_**we never dared to say.**_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**And I caught you –**_

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE: **_**And I kissed you –**_

Enjolras: I already said that.

Eponine: Deal.

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**And I took you –**_

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE: **_**And caressed you –**_

**PHANTOM & CHRISTINE/ENJOLRAS & ÈPONINE: **_**With a need too urgent to deny.**_

_**And nothing mattered then,**_

_**except for you and I,**_

_**again and then again,**_ Ummm…

_**beneath a moonless sky.**_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**And when it was done,**_ Oh thank God!

Eponine: Hey!

_**ENJOLRAS: **_Payback._** before the sun could rise,**_

_**ashamed of what I was,**_ What am I then?

_**afraid to see your eyes, **_Why? Are they scary?

Eponine: No, but your face is.

Enjolras: That's not - *pauses* fair enough.

_**I stood while you slept,**_

_**and whispered a goodbye.**_ Wait, now I'm leaving? Oh God on high, I'm one of those!

_**And slipped into the dark**_

_**beneath the moonless sky.**_

Eponine: You couldn't even wait until I woke up first?

Enjolras: Are you having problems distinguishing the script from reality again?

Eponine: Shut your trap.

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE**_**: And I loved you.**_ Enjolras, this means nothing.

_**Yes, I loved you!**_ Absolutely nothing.

_**I'd have followed anywhere you led.**_ Oh, not again.

_**I woke to swear my love,**_

_**and found you gone instead.**_ Seriously.

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**And I loved you!**_ I'm sorry did that last bit mean anything?

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE: **_**Oh, I loved you!**_ *eye roll* Yes, I was totally and completely sincere, which is why I'm currently yelling at you.

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**And I left you!**_ You're not yelling.

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE: **_**How I loved you!**_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: **_**And I had to - -Both of us knew why…**_ Why?

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE**_**: We both knew why…**_ Actually neither of us does.

**PHANTOM & CHRISTINE/ENJOLRAS & ÈPONINE: **_**And yet I won't regret, **_Yeah, right.

_**from now until I die,**_

_**the night I can't forget**_

_**beneath a moonless sky.**_

Jen: And that's that song done with.

Eponine: Thank goodness, that was painful.

Enjolras: Ouch.

Eponine: Oh, do not tell me you didn't think that was awkward.

Enjolras: Awkward yes, but painful…

Eponine: Oh. Sorry I didn't mean…

Grantaire: Aww…

Moment:*dies*

Jen: That poor little moment. *sniff* It had so much to live for!

Enjolras: Why do you never tell the Wine cask to shut it?

Jen: Because he loves to mess with you as much as I do.

Grantaire: *grin*

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS: *sigh* **_**And now?**_

Eponine: Now, I'm married. If he wanted me around he shouldn't have left.

Jen: Fair enough, but say your line anyway.

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE: **_**How can you talk of now? For us –**_** (She breaks off.) ****There is no now.**

**(She sweeps out onto the balcony, and he follows. Together, against the night sky, with the world at their feet… And yet irreparably apart.)**

_**Once upon another time,**_

_**our story had only begun.**_

_**You chose to turn the page,**_

_**and I made choices too.**_

Enjolras: Like cheating on your husband with a guy with half a face?

Èponine: Shut it.

_**ÈPONINE/CHRISTINE: Once upon that other time,**_

_**we did what we thought must be done.**_

_**And now, we have no choice.**_

_**We do what we must do…**_

_**We love. **_Enjolras this still means nothing.

_**We live.**_

_**We give what we can give.**_

_**And take what little we deserve.**_

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS**_**: Once upon another time,**_

_**I knew how our story would end,**_

_**and maybe I was wrong,**_

_**but now the moment's gone.**_

Jen: Because Grantaire KILLED it!

Grantaire: Oh, like you wouldn't have said it.

Jen: *grumblegrumblewouldnotgrumble*

_**Were it still that other time,**_

_**I'd make time itself somehow bend!**_

The Doctor: Time isn't a straight line; it can bend into any shape.

Jen: *struggling* Sorry Doctor, but you can't be here.

The Doctor: I don't want to go. *vanishes*

Everyone: ...

Jen: Well?

_**ENJOLRAS/PHANTOM: But now I'm not that strong,**_

_**and time keeps moving on…**_

**PHANTOM & CHRISTINE/ENJOLRAS & ÈPONINE: **_**We love.**_

_**We live.**_

_**We give what we can give.**_

_**And take what little we deserve**_

_**.We love**_

_**.We live.**_

_**We give what we can give. **_Again? Really?

_**And take what little we deserve…**_

_**Once upon another time.**_

**(GUSTAVE runs in wildly, breaking the mood, and buries his face in his mother's dress.)**

Moment: has died. Again.

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE :****( Apprehensive**_**.) **__**Mother, please - - I'm scared!**_

_**What a dream - - An awful dream!**_ Wow, really? I thought it was a good dream.

_**Someone strange and mad,**_

_**seizing me, and drowning me…**_

**(The boy, sensing another presence in the room, turns from his mother to look, and sees THE PHANTOM.)**

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE:**** Shh… Gustave, it's all right.**

_**Come and meet a friend of mine…**_

Enjolras: Wow, I'm still your friend after that?

Eponine: Don't read too much into it Scarface.

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS :****( With a courtly flourish.) **_**Welcome to my world, my friend.**_

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE:**** Gustave, this is… Mr. Y.**

Gavroche: Why Mr. Y?

Jen: Spell it out.

Gavroche: Mister Y…oh.

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE: ****(Eyes widening.) This place… Is yours?**

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS:**** Every inch of it. (Leaning closer, conspiratorially.)**

_**Tell me where you'd like to go…**_

_**Tell me what you want to see…**_

_**I can grant any wish**_

Gavroche: Can I have your vest?

Enjolras:…

Gavroche: Well, you said ANY wish.

Enjolras: No, the vest is mine no one touches the vest.

Grantaire: *whispering to Eponine* First person to steal the vest gets ten francs.

Eponine: That's not really fair to you, but you're on!

Jen: Ahem!

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE:**** (Shyly**_**.) **__**Could you show me, if you please,**_

_**all the island's mysteries?**_

_**All that's strange and wild and dark**_

_**in the shadows of the parks?**_

Grantaire: When did Gavroche turn emo?

**PHANTOM/ENJOLRAS:**** You shall see it all tomorrow. I promise.**

**(And suddenly he vanishes!)**

Gavroche: How?!

**CHRISTINE/ÈPONINE: ****Back to sleep now, Gustave.**

Gavroche: Back to sleep? Back to SLEEP?! A guy disappears into thin air and your reaction is BACK to SLEEP?!

Eponine: *Freezing Glare of Doom*

Gavroche: Eep!

**GUSTAVE/GAVROCHE: ****Yes, mother.**

Eponine: Yeah. You just leave now.

**(He exits to the bedroom. Alone, CHRISTINE begins to undress in front of the mirror.**

Grantaire: Is this going anywhere interesting?

Eponine: It's not THAT kind of show.

Jen: *is having "Bathing Beauty" flashbacks. It BURNS*

**(She gazes at her own reflection… Seeing herself as she was ten years ago. The wishful moment is shattered as we transition to the next scene.)**

Jen: AND thus ends the chapter: Tune in next time for Dear Old Friend through the end of act one. It'll be longer, I swear. You know what to do people! I don't own the doctor, or any other references made.


End file.
